Banishing the "if only's"

 Do any of these sound familar?

• If only my husband were more supportive. Then I could really get going with this business.
• If only I had a bigger house. Then I could have more classes and clubs.
• If only I didn't have that bill to pay. Then I could really invest some money into this.
• If only my kids weren't involved in so many sports. Then I'd have the time to hold shows.
• If only I'd taken some business courses at college. Then I could be successful at sales.
• If only I lived in a bigger town/a town with fewer demos. Then I'd have a chance at this.

As human beings, it is tempting to lay the blame for our own business faults and failures at someone else's feet. There are endless "if only's" waiting in the wings for those who choose to use them for an excuse as to why they cannot grow their businesses.

The problem is, while the circumstances of some of these "if only's" could indeed be true (for instance, business classes improving your sales tactics) they effectively place the ultimate success or failure of our businesses in other hands. You have given away your power over your own business when you give away your responsibility for it.

A person who is refusing to aknowledge personal responsibility for their business will look at circumstances or at others and ALWAYS find a reason for failure. I challenge you to be a person who refuses to make anyone or anything a scapegoat. Be a person who rises above their circumstances and maximizes their strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses.

This is one instance where the difference between success and failure is completely in your head--and therefore in your hands. Will you choose your own attitude, or let it be chosen for you? That is the decision that you consciously or unconsciously make every single day.

I am often called upon to offer encouragement to those who have been 'doing everything right' and haven't tasted much success yet. Since I've been there myself, I'm able to tell them the truth. Their hard work, enthusiasm and effort WILL pay off eventually. Those who have not had success come easily to them treasure every victory all the more. You'll be a better demonstrator and a better salesperson because of your "lean" years, not inspite of them.

Next time you realize that the mental dialogue in your head just popped out an "if only," call a halt to the conversation. It is an unproductive way of thinking that is not going to help you succeed or allow you to be happy in the journey. "If only" is a trigger phrase that should alert you to be aware that you are attempting to divest yourself of responsibility for your business.

Comments

[Brenda Quintana]

Lyssa, your article speaks the truth. Thanks for writing inspirational articles and sharing them with demonstrators world-wide.