Imagine there are three people who each buy a house.
The house is great, but the color of the living room is truly terrible.
Person #1 hates the color. But it's there. What can she do? Her hands are tied by the choices the previous owner imposed on her. Never mind that a can of paint costs $20. She'd have to go to the store, make a decision, come home and do all that work. It's just too much. She feels helpless to change it. Is it really all that bad? She'll get used to it. Maybe take one of the lightbulbs out of the fixture so it's not so garish.
So she lives with a living room color she absolutely hates, for the next twenty years.
Person #2 also hates the color. It's bad enough that she gets herself to the store, chooses a color and paints the walls as soon as she has a free Saturday. But when the paint dries, it's the wrong color. It's not what she wanted, at all. In fact, it's almost as bad as the original color. But the thought of repeating all those steps is just too much. And what if she chooses poorly AGAIN? She decides to wait and repaint later. Every once in a while she brings home some new paint chips. But that's as far as Operation: Repaint ever goes.
So she lives with a living room color she hates only slightly less than the original, for the next twenty years.
Person #3 likewise hates the color. This will never do. She immediately paints the walls. When she realizes the color is not what she wanted, she tries again. Her friends think she's nuts--how many shades of taupe can there be? It takes her five times to get the exact color she likes, but she absolutely adores it and knows it was worth all that effort. Every time she walks into the living room, she is SO glad she stuck it out.
So she lives with a living room color she absolutely adores, for the next twenty years.
Did you see yourself in one of these types?
One is unhappy. One is happy. And one is stuck in a sort of permanent limbo, not totally unhappy but definitely not happy, either.
One bows under the will of the world. One bends the world to her will. And the other tries to bend, but quickly ends up bowing.
The reason I was pondering this concept was because I've slid from a Person #3 to a Person #2 lately. (Side note: I actually do have a living room that has been five different colors, and a kitchen that's been six!)
For so many years I've prided myself on being willing to try all kinds of things. On never giving up. On always having a confidence within myself that somewhere out there WAS the perfect color, and I would find it.
Lately, however, I've noticed a tendency to try something and be a little too quick to call it a failure. There's an unwillingness to give it another go. A desire to say it's "good enough" and settle for less.
And a little bit of doubt joins me on my journey, every time I decide to give less than 100%. The next time around, I'll be even quicker to throw in the towel.
I want to get back to being that Person #3, full time. I know she's in there.
So can I get even a little more personal with you? Some of you are living in a "house" whose color you are actively unhappy with. What in the world is stopping you from buying a can of paint and calling some friends over to help? What's it going to take to get you to feed Person #3 in your life?To break up with Person #1, permanently? To identify where Person #2 is not being your friend, by allowing you to settle?
No one is going to design your life except for you. Design one you love, that makes you happy to wake up in the morning and loathe to go to sleep at night.
You can do this.
We'll do it together.