Song of My Heart Demonstrators

More than the highlight reel

Recently I read a guest post by Geoff Stewart on my brother Josh's youth ministry blog, www.morethandodgeball.com, and it really hit home with issues I've been dealing with lately. Because he already said it so eloquently, I'll post an excerpt here (emphasis mine):

"This is a struggle that most pastors (especially youth pastors) have. We end up sharing lots of the crazy stories that have happened to us, including the ones many of us go out of our way to make happen because they might make great illustrations. (One time I drove 5 minutes past my exit of the freeway following a pick up truck full of loaves of bread because I was hoping some would fly out and hit my car – and sure enough three loaves did.) But I really enjoy spending time with students, especially my small group, one-on-one because if anything they get to see that I am a pretty normal guy. The ones that don’t know the real me look at my twitter and Facebook, and it’s one event or conference after another, one more “adventure” that I am on. This highlight reel is not in any way, shape, or form an accurate portrait of my life."

I was talking to a friend at Leadership Conference this past January and confided that I had been feeling extremely run down, and burned out in a major way lately. She was aghast. "No way!" she said in dismay. "I was just pointing your blog out to my husband as an example that there WERE women out there who were doing it all." She went on to say I always looked like I had it all together, and she felt like if she could just get more organized, she too, could be like me.

She was truly dismayed. I felt terrible that I'd burst her bubble, yet I also felt like I was ultimately doing her a service by allowing her to see that all that glittered was not gold. Too often, all we see is someone's public face, and we think everything's fine. But just because there are no long silences on someone's blog does not mean everything is ok.

To some of you who follow me online, or only see me at events, my life may sometimes appear to be one big highlight reel. I do travel a lot for business, I have won some pretty big awards and I have been given some fantastic opportunities. I talk a lot, joke about my foilbles and boo-boos, and share photos and stories about my kids and other family events now and again. I chat online on a couple of forums way more than is profitable for my schedule.

But the honest truth is, you don't know me. You don't live next door or even in my town. You don't know what I miss because I'm too busy, what I turn down because of timing, what I say "no" to when I say "yes" to something else. You know only what I choose to present about myself through my Facebook status updates, my emails, and my blogs. And of course, for a business-minded person, that's always colored by professional enthusiasm and energy, whether real or forced.

But the thing is, while the trips and awards and opportunities ARE the truth, they are not the WHOLE truth. There's a reason they have you swear to tell the "whole" truth in court. Because you can tell the truth and still be living a larger "lie." The real truth is, Stampin' Up, even at the highest levels, is composed of completely ordinary women leading completely ordinary lives, JUST LIKE YOU.

Every thought to yourself after reading someone's blog, "WOW! I feel exhausted just THINKING about everything she's doing"? Chances are, SHE'S exhausted DOING all those things, too. But we get on this crazy fun merry-go-round and we spin faster and faster, and frankly, some of us hang on longer than others, but we all fall off or throw up in the end, if the merry-go-round never stops spinning.

Unfortunately, burnout is 'the elephant in the corner' of direct sales. A demonstrator friend I talked with recently about this commented, "it's like we're afraid it's contaigious." No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to admit it could happen to them. And nothing will change unless women start talking about it.

I think it's time to stop pretending there are super-demos. It's not healthy for them or for anyone trying to emulate them. There's only women, doing the best they can with the differing resources they have available, sometimes suceeding, sometimes failing, often being way too hard on themselves. Enjoy the journey. Quit comparing yourself or your business to anyone else's. You are a complicated and complex human being with lots of modern and unrealistic expectations on our shoulders in addition to all the traditional roles we women still have to fulfill.

Don't start believing your own highlight reel. Give yourself a break, and along the way you'll be doing your downlines and demo friends --and even people you don't realize are watching you-- a favor, too, by showing them a real, flawed human being doing the best she can with grace and humor.

 

 

My Why

My Business Development Advisor made the mistake of asking me to type up "My Why"-- my motivation for what I do. I sent her this book the following week.

"I used to say it was just plain FUN that kept me going with Stampin’ Up, but now I know that’s not true. Because there are times now when it’s not so fun—when I have a headache, when I get a cranky customer, when an event tanks, when I have a touchy or needy downline member. And I still keep going.

"I used to say it was the incentive trips that kept me motivated, those fabulous vacations with my husband that we could never ever afford on our own. But his schedule has caused him to miss the last three out of five, and I still keep working.

"It’s not the money, although what I bring in every month is about what it takes for our two kids to go to private school.  I love having the funds to buy pretty much whatever I want for papercrafting, being able to travel to conventions and spoil my downlines, and patronize my friend’s home businesses without that money coming from the family budget. I could definitely make more money if I chose to work outside the home, though; so money, while nice, is not my “why.”

"So if it’s not the tangible things, maybe it’s the intangible. I do get a rush out of achieving goals I set for myself—guess that’s my competitive nature. And I love the rewards and recognition I’ve received climbing the ladder, working towards promoting, building my downline. Who doesn’t love seeing their name in print or hearing it called out on stage? I love striding across the airport in some new city, feeling like a successful businesswoman, having mapped out all my own travel plans, paid for my own arrangements, conquered another hurdle unthinkable just five short years ago.

And let’s not forget the stress relief—when you are a mom, especially a mom of kids with special needs, or a mom with really little ones, getting out of the house and around adults is a must. I know I’d cheerfully swap the stress of prepping for a stamp camp for 60 for the stress of a single dental visit and accompanying bill. While we know in our heads there is no more worthwhile job than motherhood, it’s really, really nice to escape to a hobby/job where your efforts are verbally appreciated and visibly compensated. Where you can sit down and in ten minutes make something so darn cute you just have to base a stamp camp around it so all your friends can make it, too.

"I guess Stampin’ Up is just so rewarding on deeply personal levels, that it is a combination of many things that keep me going when things are not fun, when my best friend can’t come, when I lose money on a workshop. Maybe no one thing by itself is enough to get me over those tough times. Sometimes at various stages, one aspect seems more important than the others, or another aspect suddenly becomes less important--but in the end it is an amalgam of reasons that make up my motivation.

"My “why” is not a nice neat sound byte. But when you condense it all down and try to get a fix on my motivation, the bottom line is—I can’t quit. I just can’t imagine stopping. Stampin’ Up is so fulfilling to me that I cannot imagine a time when it would not be in my life.

"Maybe the day will come when other dreams fill my vision and I will be willing to move into a different place. But I do know this—when and if that day comes, the things I have learned, the better and stronger and more fulfilled person I have become, because of the blessing of Stampin’ Up in my life, will never leave me."

What's YOUR "why?" What's that one thing that you hang on to, that keeps you trucking? Whatever it is, I'd like to challenge you this week to give yourself a tangible reminder of that why. If it's your kids' lessons or tuition, put a photograph of them on the light switch of your stamp room. If it's a vacation, buy a piggy bank and label it "getaway fund." If it's new carpet or a new couch, cut out a picture from the advertisement and stick it to the bulletin board. If it's going towards paying off a bill, schedule a little celebration every time you make a payment. If it's the incentive trips, print off the tracker and fill it out.

Keep that "why" in the forefront so that as soon as you're tempted to become discouraged or get negative, you'll be reminded of how important what you are doing is, to yourself and to your family.  Dream BIG, friend!

Price Increases: Sticking to your guns

A big problem that sometimes occurs a couple of years into demonstratorship happens when we realize we need to raise our prices.

Prices are raised for any number of very legitimate reasons, including increased costs, whether of raw product, supply costs, or gas prices; new costs such as developing babysitting expenses or having to rent a larger space; or simply the realization that one is making only pennies for precious time spent away from family.

However logical those reasons may be, raising your fees can be a deal-breaking moment for some of your periphrial customers and is not for the faint of heart. Many of us raise them incrementally, hoping customers will not realize it, and others come to the end of their ropes and "rip the Band-Aid off," so to speak, getting it over with quickly. There are things to be said for both views. 

Sometimes demonstrators assume that because the price of gas and groceries has gradually gone up, customers will also be reasonable and realize the same is true of the costs of cardstock and shipping. Not to be a discouragement, I'd like to warn you that this in not usually the case.

When people realize they are paying more for the same product or service, there is a very normal negative reaction. Now, we hope that this negativity is immediately tempered by rational internal dialogue, with the end result being the customer swiftly comes to the conclusion that you had no choice but to raise prices. In reality, some will not be able to overcome that initial negative reaction and it will take them time to adjust to the "new normal."

If you choose the "rip the Band-Aid off" method of raising your prices, I encourage you to be prepared in advance for lower attendance, upset emails, and a few who drop out entirely. It is not subtle and it should be accompanied by a simple, short and sweet explanation just to your customer friends that are affected (no mass emails). It should also not be undertaken lightly or without a good deal of forethought and feedback from trusted, experienced sources. However, there are cases where this approach is completely necessary, and sometimes it is not as bad as you think it is going to be.

I once came to the realization that I was providing too many projects for a monthly hostess club. I continued to do so for months simply because I was afraid I would lose them by cutting down the projects, and I didn't feel good about raising the minimum order required each month. If I might say so frankly, that was very foolish. I do not work my tail off full time in order to subsidize my friends' hobbies. I looked for ways to sub in cheaper supplies and save on paper, but it was not enough. So eventually I had to bite the bullet and tell them I was cutting one of the projects. And you know what? I didn't lose any of them.

I encourage you not to wait until you have lost a lot of money, or a little money gradually over a long period of time. Here are some take-away tips to remember when considering your pricing structure.

• DO YOUR MATH so that you know exactly what your costs are. Be sure to add all incidentals like gas, room rental, food, paper goods and business forms, too, as well as any assistants or babysitters you paid. You might be surprised at how little the projects actually cost, but how much the "extras" do.

• Be intentional when setting your prices--never pull a figure out of the air and NEVER just price a class the same as always just because that's what you've always charged.

• Stick to your guns. Remember how bad you felt when you realized you did not make any money at all, rather paid some out of your own pocket, for that one event. Recall the feelings you experienced as you drove home that night and did the math, coming to the conclusion that you had paid people to come to their friend's house and use up your stamping supplies.

• The less involved your customers are, the less likely they are to accept the changes with postivity. So the best advice I can give you on raising your prices is to do your level best to provide even more excellent customer service and foster that sense of relationship with your stamping friends. Up your intangibles in equal proportion to how high you are being forced to up the tangibles.

• You are not here to subsidize anyone else's hobby. No reasonable person, no true friend, could possibly expect that. Some customer friends may need fuller explanations or more time to process the changes and get over your new fees, and you should try to stay calm and professional and try not to get upset or take it personally.

• If you do lose some customers, it's ok to look at your fees and reevaluate to make sure you are being reasonable, but don't cave in right away.  You can tell them truthfully that your business is a work in progress, and you will be analyzing the results every few months and reassessing the situation. You may not revise your prices at all in the end, but your customer will have time to adjust, to ponder the reasons you outlined for the increase, and eventually will probably work it out.

While raising your prices may not be popular, it may be absolutely crucial to the survival of your business. I'd encourage you to leave comments here if you would like to relate any additional tips or personal experiences for your fellow demonstrators. And then take a moment when you're planning out your upcoming classes to make sure that you are being intentional with your prices, and realistic as to the actual expenses you face. Your business will be the better for it, I promise.

Dream BIG!

Dealing with Baggage

"Failure is not found in the falling down, but in the refusing to get back up." -Chinese proverb

For some of you, Stampin' Up is not the first direct sales business you have tried. There are ghosts of  failures past that haunt you when you dare to dream about a successful home business. Maybe you tried to sell makeup, or purses, or kitchen gadgets, and it didn't go well. For whatever reason, you quit.

That adds a subtle undercurrent of stress to your SU venture that other demos don't even think about. Maybe your spouse or your parents brought up this past failure when you told them you wanted to sign up. They didn't necessarily mean to make you feel bad--they just didn't want you to get hurt again. Or possibly, no one said a word--but you heard it in your head, loud and clear. You didn't make it happen last time. What could possibly make you think you'll be successful this time?

I'd like to encourage you today with a couple of thoughts on that subject. First of all, you are not the same person you were when you failed at the other business. You are older (literally) and wiser (more experienced). Nothing is ever static, so your life has changed and you are in a different mental place that you were before. You have some different friends. Your children are at different ages. You may have moved, or gotten a new job, or changed churches--if you think about it, I bet you could name five things off the top of your head that are different this year than last.

So, THIS PERSON you are now has never "failed" at anything! And if you've come to Stampin' Up at a wise time in your life, you can be successful now as you never would have been before.

 Secondly, product truly makes a difference. You may have thought you loved your other company, but I bet you love Stampin' Up's incredible products even more. Our product line is well priced, and much of it is consumable (leading to repeat purchases). And unlike so many DS companies, ours sends out a steady and plentiful stream of new products, rather than a small "catalog" that is really little more than a glorified brochure. They're not jacked up in price, they ship quickly and reliably, and they have world-class customer service and demonstrator support. You would be hard put to find a better overall direct sales company in the world.

So you are not the same, and the company is not the same. Something about this company and this product, combined with this point in you life, made you decide to try again. Is it possible that this time you will have different results? I don't just THINK so, I KNOW so!

Here's a little bit of hard homework for you. I want you to forgive yourself for failing at that other home business or businesses.  Let it go. Don't shift the blame to others. Accept that it didn't go well, acknowlege your part in why it failed, and resolve to learn from it and move along. It's in the past and it deserves to stay there. RIP.

Listen, friend--if you already convinced yourself to sign up with Stampin' Up, then you are obviously proceeding hopefully and moving on from the past. You have already partially conquered that ghost! And you've already taken another important step by educating yourself and reading things like this demo inspiration blog, which will help prevent you from making past mistakes. Look at you go! You're gonna be just fine. When that old mental record starts playing again--reach over and pull the plug!

I can't promise you that you will not fail. I can't promise that you won't suddenly have a life change, or a health issue, or an unexpected move or a new baby, and all your efforts go for naught. But I can promise you that Stampin' Up is extremely rewarding, with a very easy and simple business plan that makes sense and amply rewards effort and enthusiasm. The system is flexible, with a low quarterly minimum, and it can be what it needs to be. Maybe not what you WISH it could be, but what it needs to be.

Surround yourself with positive friends. Seek out those who uplift and ignore those who tear down. Go to every Stampin' Up event you can swing--they are in investment in your business and a shot in the arm that will last six months or more. Be persistent and consistent with your efforts, and they will pay off. If there's any magic bullet to be had in direct sales, that is it--don't give up!

Past failures at direct sales? Nothing to be ashamed of. Live in THIS moment, not in the past. I occasionally catch part of a Dr. Phil show, and I like his saying that often, the only thing you can control is your own reactions and responses. You can't control what is in the past--you can only control what you do now, which will determine your future.

So don't waste time--shove that old ghost and his debilitating whispers back in the closet and throw away the key. You don't have time to listen to those lies--you are too busy "walking confidently in the direction of your dreams."

Dream BIG!

When your customers turn into your downline

Congratulations! You just lost your best customer. No, she didn't drop off your OEX list because she's upset--she dropped off because she's EXCITED--and now she's become a demo, too. And you are excited, too... sort of.

Well, actually, you're a little worried, to tell the truth. You know that your sales are going to suffer without the big orders from this customer. You might even find yourself worrying about minimums again, and it's been a long time since you did that. And now, you have competition from her to worry about as well. Her friends and family will naturally start ordering from her instead of you.

Ok, maybe more than a little worried... maybe a lot.

There's a big sign-up promo going on as I write this, and many of you have expressed this paradox of emotions. You know you're supposed to be excited, but actually, once the initial euphoria wore off, the experience has been a little deflating. I completely understand, because I've been there--and still I go there regularly. Surprised? I hate to break it to you, but this is one aspect of small-business-hood that, while it may get easier, never quite goes away altogether.

I'd like to share some lessons I've learned/am still learning about the process we undergo when a good customers turns into a downline. I wrote this article to deal specifically with the loss of additional customers when someone signs up and takes them with her, which you may find helpful. But for today's post, let's focus on the mix of emotions sometimes present with a recruit.

Many, many demos are afraid to recruit their best customer because they can't see past the roadblock of lost sales. I can't emphasize enough that you need to be focusing on what is best for your group, not yourself. Your group may consist of ten people or a hundred, or it might just be you. Quit thinking of yourself as a struggling individual and start thinking of yourself as a fledgling group. What is best for the group? Stagnation? Fear? Reservations? No! Growth, of course.  What's good for the group is good for you.

A major problem I've been seeing a lot of lately is that many demos (self-professedly business demos) are still thinking like a hobbyist. The hobbyist only sees how changes affect themselves. The business demo needs to think for her whole group. Stop dreaming small! Dream BIG!

This is a process, and one I remind myself of when I suppress that internal sigh, realizing that the process of continually procuring customers is never ending. Your customer base is in a constant state of flux, and you will never reach a state where you do not have to work at your business. That's why they call it "work"... because it takes work! We're blessed that it is FUN and REWARDING work, but we should never let ourselves become deceived into thinking that it is possible not to work at it and still receive the same rewards and benefits. An unknown author says, "All the so called secrets to success in the world will not work unless YOU do."

I've beat this dead horse a dozen times already, but I'll say it again: You MUST focus on the long term. Yes, I will fully admit that in the short term, there is sometimes little that is tangible to be gained from the initial acquiring of a recruit, and some harmful side effects seem to take center stage. But take the long view, and the potential for income and promotion, and more importantly (to me anyway), personal growth and friendship, are exponential.

Business maturity is reached when the demonstrator can put aside her own immediate desires and gratification for the long term good of her entire group. As with childhood and young adulthood, the process of maturing takes time, and involves learning the hard way sometimes. Don't let yourself be a demonstrator who is stuck at the toddler stage...move on, learn the lessons, gain the experience. The toddler stage is rewarding, yes, but we're all glad when our children move out of it!

I may not have convinced you to plunge ahead and ignore your inner reservations about your customer signing up. That's ok, but I hope you will be brave enough with your business to not allow yourself to be motivated by fear, and say no to the fantastic opportunity to be an upline. It is one of the best and most fun decisions I ever made. You'll have to make this leap of faith, on my word and the words of others more experienced. As with so many things in life, sometimes you will be making the step whether or not you are happy with it, so you might as well decide to be excited about it. Embrace uplining with enthusiasm, and resolutely take the long view, and your journey will become so much the richer for the friends who come alongside you.

Dream BIG, friend!

Lyssa

Burn Out

Ever feel fried.... frazzled.... frustrated? Like you could just walk away from the mess with a difficult club members? Like given two cents you'd quit and go back to being a customer yourself? Chances are, if you've been a demonstrator for more than a year or two, you have experienced a time of burn out. I believe there are very few--if there are any at all--demonstrators who have not gone through or will go through in the future, a time of feeling burned out.

There's no cut and dried answer for burn out, because its causes are myriad and those who experience it are unique individuals in different situations. But here's some encouragement to help you get over that hurdle, if you find yourself fantasizing about never having to deal with cranky customers again.

First, know you are not alone. Everyone feels tired of it all at times. Even the top demonstrators (actually ESPECIALLY the top demonstrators--it's hard to keep up that pace indefinitely) feel burned out occasionally. Businesses are cyclical, and go through phases of doing well and doing less-well. People are not static either, and go through phases of having more energy or time, and phases where they have less energy and zero extra time. Top demos are not immune to these cycles--their ups and downs may be larger than other people's, but they still have to work through them just like the rest of us. So the experience of being burned out is common to us all.

Second, remember that "this, too, shall pass." Maybe it's just me, but doesn't it seem like things happen in a sequence? A bunch of good things might happen in a row, and then you're hit with a string of unfortunate ones all at once. The good news is, whatever situation you are in that is causing you to feel burned out is probably temporary. And the mental state you are in is likewise temporary. If you can just get over the hump, you'll be fine.Thankfully, we have a great company who keeps things fresh with mini catalogs, specials and promotions, so there's always something fun around the corner to look forward to.

Third, it helps to stay busy. If you let a long time elapse between events, it is easy to get out of the habit of staying fresh with your projects and knowledge, and start to fall behind. It is also easier to let one bad event get to you mentally and make you question yourself (see my article "Rebounding From A Bad Event" in the Encouragement section).  Having regular events helps you keep your game face on. The old motto, "fake it 'till you make it" could be restated "fake it 'till you feel it." Your smile may be insincere when you're arriving at the hostess' door, but put you in a room with guests who are excited to be there and ready to learn, and you will soon rediscover the joy of teaching stamping.

A fourth tip for you is to surround yourself with positive people. When you are burned out, it is too easy to go online and find 100 other people likewise feeling a little blue, and before you know it, a thread has turned into a big pity party and things are looking very dire. Your little bit of negativity is multiplied one hundred fold and you have gone from being a little discouraged to actively thinking about quitting. A forum can be a magnifying glass, which can turn a little molehill into an insurmountable mountain. Our words are powerful. Don't let yours contribute to the pile-on. Do yourself a favor and stay out of the forums until you are in a better place. Go look for pretty things on blogs instead, or make cards for charity.

Fifth, if you're burned out, it's time to reevaluate. Maybe life has been a little crazy lately. Have you been leaving enough time for your family and church obligations in your schedule? Life fluctuates, and your time management needs to, too. One size does not fit all--in fact, sometimes one size does not fit one week! You may very well be out of balance in one or more aspects of your life.

Reevaluate areas of your physical business as well. Perhaps you've fallen into a rut with your regular classes and projects. Have you been attending SU events and demo meetings, entering contests, or uploading to Stampin' Connections, to keep your enthusiasm recharged? Is there a customer you need to let go? A downline you need to have a talk with?

In addition, evaluate less tangible areas of your business. Undercharging can be a cause of negative frustration that leads to burnout. Have you been charging for your time as well as just the supplies? Maybe you have been pulling together monthly meetings for your downline all by yourself and are feeling put-upon and under-appreciated. Can you spread out the responsibilities more, so each meeting returns to being a joy instead of a chore?

My final piece of advice for those who are truly at the end of their rope and feel they have nothing left to give: a vacation is ok. Stampin' Up allows us great flexibility in our demonstratorships, and we have the ability to take a week or two (or even a month or quarter, in extremis) and still be able to keep our businesses going. While I don't recommend a long hiatus, even a short one can work wonders. Work a holics like myself might need to regularly schedule a day off. I have found I actually have to get out of the house--in some cases out of town, completely out of my environment--to stop thinking about my business (I do SU full time from home, so I am never really away from my job). But just having that day or week off, marked out on the calendar, can give you something to look forward to and get you through a rough period.

I hope, if you have been feeling a little fried yourself lately, that you've found some practical tips and encouragement in this article. I welcome you to leave a comment about whatever tactics you have found effective in pulling yourself out of the doldrums. We're all in this together--let us encourage and support one another! We can do it.

Dream BIG!

Your best asset

The title of this article gives away what I'd like to discuss today, and that is the one thing we all have in common--ourselves. Every demo, whether hobby or business, rich or poor, young or old, has one asset in common. It is a priceless asset, and one that can never be taken away. And that is "You."

"You" is what will set you apart from all the other demonstrators around you. Your personality, your likes and dislikes, your style, your personal take on things, gives you a totally unique edge for your business.Your own creativity is something completely distinctive from anyone else's. The eye that you bring to your projects, your events, and your customer service is what is irreplaceable.

The good news is, it's all in your hands.

The bad news is, it's all in your hands.

Our own individualness is the bottom line for us all. We alone are the ones who will make or break our businesses, based on that hard to define, intangible "You."

That sense of "You" might need a little refining and exploring. Work on developing your personal style. Many of us kind of "fall" into a style on accident over the years, but it can also be developed consciously. Consider creating a "signature look" or a particular area of customers service that you want to be known for.You will gain from your self-awareness if nothing else, as well as promoting customer loyalty by distinguishing yourself from the crowd.

When you have more closely developed that sense of self, promote it! S. Madwed wrote, "If you want to be truly successful, invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere, your success will blossom."

Other demos may have more physical resources available to them, such as bigger houses, or cleaning help, or a beautiful, professionally organized craft room. Maybe they have a more flexible job (or not outside job at all), or their kids are no longer small.The physical resource you covet could be something more intangible, like health, or boundless energy. It could be sheer time--they have it and you don't.

There's no denying some demos have an edge over others. It can be hard to tame "the green-eyed monster" when you see or hear of those things, especially if your small house has been grating on you lately, or you have had to miss a fun Stampin' Up function due to poor health or other obligations.

But you DO have "You"--and they don't, and never will. All the big houses and fancy designer blogs in the world can't buy that particular resource. All they have is themselves--their own "You"-- and a lot of extra window dressing. You might not have the window dressing, but you DO have the essential ingredient to make a success of your business, and that's "You."

The trick is not using the various advantages of other demonstrators as an excuse as to why you cannot make your business successful. Stop focusing on what you don't have, and focus on your assets.

And don't underestimate that one particular asset that is unique to your business and no one else's in the wide, wide world--"You."

Dream BIG, friend!

 

BE the upline you wish you had

I can't tell you how many times I've heard a demonstrator say they wish they had a "better" upline. If I had a stamp set for every time I've heard virtual angst on this topic, there wouldn't be room for ME in my stamp room.So I'm giving a little bit of a tough talk today. This is for those of you who've been "orphaned," "abandoned," moved away, or otherwise got left behind.

First of all, I'd like to say that you have a legitimate right to your feelings of disappointment. Go ahead and acknowledge that you feel alone and under appreciated. That you wish you had someone to call when you hit a milestone, that family members just don't get it, that you go green with envy when you hear what someone else's upline brought them from convention. 

It's ok to feel that way. However, it's not ok to KEEP feeling that way, and that's what I'd like to talk about today. As good old Dr. Phil always says, the only person you can change is yourself. So let's start there.

There ARE poor uplines, one who "abandon" their new recruits, refuse to return phone calls or emails, or otherwise act irresponsibly to their downlines. This happens in every direct sales business on the planet. But the vast majority of uplines are just ordinary women living their lives, doing Stampin' Up on the side. And they need to be given a break. Their lives do not revolve around Stampin' Up in the manner you might wish them to, and you have to accept that.

You might have developed such feelings of outright bitterness over the years that you actually need to forgive your upline. If that is the case, I would encourage you to do so right now in your head. Do it for your own sake.  Don't let your business have that undercurrent of resentment. Accept that your upline is who she is, and allow her to be that.

In addition to accepting your upline for what she is, you have to accept your circumstances. Regardless of your situation, you're in it. "No matter where you go, there you are," as the saying goes. You need to start making the best of it. It is what it is. You CAN succeed. You don't HAVE to have an upline to help you. Don't let yourself use that as an excuse not to achieve your fantastic potential with Stampin' Up.

So number one--Acknowlege your feelings, number two--Accept the situation. What's number three? Appreciate yourself.

You're not getting a reward or even a card from your upline if you hit a milestone or find a new recruit. Ok, then, find a way to reward yourself. Don't go overboard, of course, but celebrate your achievements with some new ribbon or some fancy paper. Maybe it's an extra hour in the stamp room. The reward could even be a payment into your convention fund. And if I can add one little suggestion--it's really never wise to reward yourself with food. We don't need any contributions to "stamper's butt," right?!

When you are under-appreciated, you need to learn to appreciate yourself even more. Don't let yourself stop feeling good because no one around you understands or appreciates what your accomplishment really means. Your efforts are praise-worthy no matter if you're getting that praise or not. Veronica A Shoffstall wrote, "Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." I hope you will learn to grow your own roses. 

One last "A" to throw at you--Audience--surround yourself with a supportive audience. If you are like some women I know without a soul in the world to cheer them on, not even a supportive spouse, then you will be finding it very difficult right now. You have my compassion.

Your upline doesn't have meetings, for whatever reason. YOU have them. Invite all the demos you know and a bunch you find on the demo locator. Start up a group if there isn't one already in your area that takes in orphan demos. If no one comes to the first one, invite some more and do it again. There are other demos like you out there, and getting together to stamp is important.

Create your own community or join an existing one. Start investing some time in online forums or chat boards, and start surrounding yourself with positive people who will cheer your good days and commiserate on your bad days. I would never have earned my first incentive trip if it hadn't been for my online friends believing in me. I really believe that. I couldn't give up when they were rootin' for me so hard!

Lots of people might say forums are a waste of time, but I have found them immensely rewarding when you use them in moderation. Our world is a completely different place than it used to be, and you can find your friends all over the globe. One of my very favorite things about going to Stampin' Up events is getting to meet the friends I have been chatting with online for years.

Side note: It is way too easy to fall into the trap of thinking the grass is way greener in someone else's downline. What you need to remember is that you honestly do not know what it is like to be a member of that person's downline. They might be big-time achievers and have a glitzy website and advertise fantastic-sounding incentives, and yet never return the phone calls or respond to emailed questions. Maybe they are so overwhelmingly awesome that they overshadow their downlines. You never know. 

So here's your report card--you got four A's and one B. Acknowledge, Accept, Appreciate, Audience. Here's the B. My number one piece of advice for demos who find themselves alone out there is this: Be the upline you wish you had. Focus all that energy into growing your own downline and becoming the best upline you can be. Your experiences will make you stronger and better because you will know first hand how important that encouragement and support is. You're gonna be AWESOME!

Dream BIG!

When your new recruit wants your customers

Today I'd like to address a topic I see come up again and again in the various demonstrator forums and chat sites I visit. It's also a situation that has happened to me personally nearly every time I've signed a new downline in our small town. How do you handle it when you sign up a new recruit and she "steals" your customers?

This is probably the number one obstacle to recruiting and moving past the hobby demo stage. Fear of losing the customers you have worked hard to keep.

Fear is almost never a healthy motivation. Fear cripples your business and prevents you from achieving your full potential. Decide right now that you don't want to be motivated by fear. Les Brown once said, "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are too busy living our fears."

So what can we do, when we find a "hot one," and start thinking about the potential impact on our businesses?

First of all, it's your responsibility to always be infusing fresh blood into your customer base. You should never be sitting on your laurels. Routine breeds complacency. Never take your customers for granted. Always be breaking into new groups, new social circles, trying new classes, finding new ways to advertise. If you have four customers and one of them signs up and takes her two friends with her, you're in big trouble. But if you have ten customers and five good leads in the hopper, and a full calendar of workshops and events planned, and your new recruit takes her two friends, you're in a much better place to recover from loss.

Maybe you're going through this scenario right now. Make a plan that next time this happens, you will be better prepared to bounce back because you will not let yourself get complacent and be satisfied to sit on the bench and watch your business walk by.

Secondly, keep in mind that there is no "stealing" involved. Unlike some direct sales companies, in Stampin' Up, we don't have "zones" or "regions" to which we have a right to all the leads and customers in the area. That's a wonderful thing for two reasons: first, it keeps us old-timers on our toes, remaining creative with our projects and constantly improving our customer service; and secondly, it makes it much easier for the new demos to break into the area and make themselves a niche. I really do believe there's a niche for everybody, no matter how many demos are in your town. But that's another article! 

Finally, when a new demo "takes" customers away from her upline, in many cases, it's a matter of logistics, friendship and family. There is no malice intended, and none should be taken. Maybe she sees those people every Sunday at church or during a weekly playgroup. It just makes social sense that they will become her customers. Sometimes the recruit was friends with those customers long before you knew them, in many cases, seeing them on social levels you never do.

She may also be related to a bunch of them, in which case it should be more obvious to you that you will lose those customers when she signs up. Forewarned is forearmed. If the potential of the loss of some of your customers does not blindside you, you will be in a much better mental place to deal with it when and if it happens.

Every once in a while you will have the misfortune to run across some who does literally attempt to "steal"customers in an underhanded, less than ethical manner. If it hasn't happened to you yet, it probably will sometime in your direct sales career. However, in my experience, it is an extremely rare situation. Most new recruits are simply so excited and enthusiastic that they have no concept of the mental turmoil you are going through. They haven't been in your shoes and they don't realize the impact they will have on your customer base.

Don't blame them for that. Don't squelch their enthusiasm. But be completely open about it right from the start. When I am counseling a potential recruit, I always let her know during our conversation, that I am fine with her taking over whatever group of customers I had gleaned from the social circle in which I met her (just treat them well, I tell her). I always tell her that I took customers, too, when I signed up, though completely unknowingly. Only after I had recruits myself did I realize what it must have been like for her.

By taking a few moments to be totally honest with my recruit, I've set the plan of our relationship on a whole different level. I've shown her I am committed to the big picture--the success of the team over my own personal sales--and I've let her know she can count on me to be happy for her even when it doesn't seem to be a good thing for me in the short run. She can blossom under that kind of generous uplining. ("Uplining..." Hmm... think I just created a new word!)

By releasing my new recruit to go ahead and go for those customers which I have already laid the groundwork, I am setting her up for success. The "long view" must always be in place when dealing with recruiting. If you only ever see the immediate implications of signing someone up, you will soon be too discouraged to venture beyond your own stamp room. You must be committed to the long term growth of your business in order to come through these situations with a positive outlook in place.

Does that come easily? No. It's a struggle every time, no matter how high my recruiting numbers rise. It's a continual process of consciously opening my hands and releasing my business to be free to expand where it is supposed to go. You have to make that choice of attitude. She's going to sign up, whether with you or with someone else. Are you going to sit there and groan, or are you going to get up and get to work?.

Sharing what we love and drawing others into this amazing, rewarding adventure should be exciting and fun, not fearful and depressing. But it will be what you mentally chose it make it. Will you make the choice to let go of your fear? Will you decide today to look at the big picture and the overall health and growth of your team? I hope you will not allow yourself to be limited to the short term. Your business can stretch and expand beyond your wildest dreams if you are willing to open your hands and let it fly.

Dream BIG!

Attitude, schmattitude

"I've discovered I always have a choice--although sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."--author unknown

Once upon a time, Stampin' Up did something that I didn't like. It happens--they don't consult with me privately before making decisions, so it's not unusual that I should wonder what is UP with this or that choice they have made.

Thankfully, it happens very little with this company, because it's so thoughtfully run, with the obvious best interests of it's demonstrators and employees at heart. They are also very good at communicating both their decisions and the reasoning behind them. Nonetheless, once in a while things will come up and I will read an announcement with dismay. Sometimes the logic becomes clearer as time goes on, and I adjust my initial opinion, and sometimes I never agree with it, despite hearing a whole list of reasons.

At this point, I have two options, as the popular refrigerator magnet puts our dinner choices--take it or leave it. Which of those paths we choose to take will determine our success or failure. Yes, that's right, I said nothing less than the success or failure of our businesses is hanging on the decision you have to make when you read that announcement and think, "oh, crud."

That's because it's all about attitude. I used to hate that phrase with a passion. "Don't tell ME I have a bad attitude!" Some of you shut me down at the opening quote for this article, and I used to be the same way. I didn't think your mental mindset had much of anything to do with whether or not you could sell stamps.

But you know what? I have learned that it is completely true. Katherine Mansfield wrote something I like: "Could we change our attitude, we would not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different."

A positive attitude can be a natural personality trait, or (thankfully) it can be a learned behavior. Those who naturally see the glass as half full will lean towards optimism without any prompting. For the rest of us, we need a bit more encouragement to trend positive. And if we can do it successfully, our stamping business WILL be different.

Taking and Leaving comes in different forms:

1. not accepting it and allowing it to end your business
2. not accepting it, letting it make you irritated as you try to continue your business
   
3. accepting it eventually, but with complaining and resentment
4. accepting it eventually, only because you can't do anything about it
5. accepting it blindly without allowing yourself to admit any misgivings
   
6. accepting it and creatively looking for ways to make the new reality work for you

Guess which one of those is the best, healthiest option for your business? Bingo.

Once you see that every decision your company makes is a chance for you to make your own decision, you begin to internalize the reality that attitude is a choice you make every single day. Do you want to make the one that will help or hurt your business? Well DUH. Help it, of course. SO why do so many of us go with options 1-5 instead of number 6?

What is there to do when you find yourself going down the wrong attitude path? First, stop walking. Identify what you are doing (standing at a crossroads). You are then about to make a conscious decision instead of a subconscious one.

Secondly, decide before you get to those crossroads situations, that the choice you will make will be a positive, productive, healthy one instead of a negative, unhealthy, knee-jerk reaction.

Finally, surround yourself with demo friends and chat buddies who overall tend to go for the positive choices instead of the negative ones. Their habit will become your habit. And when you are truly feeling negative, and unable to pull your act together to deal with the situation positively, their strength and support will get you through. 

Today I'd like to challenge you to think back to the last decision your company made that you weren't entirely blissful about initially. If you didn't react well, identify, with the help of hindsight, what would have been a better way to deal with it.

And then determine right now that the next choice you make will be that of attitude. When you don't know all the reasoning, or when you do know the reasons and still don't agree, decide you will choose to take the positive path instead of the negative, because it's the only healthy choice for your business.

I would prefer you not list any specific announcements or topics here, but feel free to comment on how you dealt with anonymous attitude-challenging situations, or would deal with them in hindsight. I also love "sound bytes," so if you have a favorite quote about attitude, be sure to pass it on.

Dream BIG, friend!