Another serial sexual predator exposed, another set of victims attacked. This story is so old it has decomposed.
"Why didn't they speak up?"
Only those who have not been abused would ask that.
The rest of us know you have no idea whereof you speak. It makes us angry, it makes us sad, and most of all it just reinforces the desire to stay silent.
Your ignorance is showing, and it goes to show the strength of my belief in the power and meaning of words that I'm even bothering to try to correct you. Because you don't know--you can't know--what it's like. The forces that seal your lips closed when your mind is screaming are many and varied. Do you want to hear our reasons? Ok. You read these reasons and you decide which one of them isn't good enough.
We don't talk --because people don't believe us when we do.
We don't talk --because of how people reacted when we did.
We don't talk --because nobody did back then.
We don't talk --because we saw what happened to that girl who did.
We don't talk --because we saw there was little or no justice for the ones who did.
We don't talk --because we could not bear to admit the truth even to ourselves.
We don't talk --because we were trying not to rip our families apart, then or now.
We don't talk --because it's a story our own children are too young to hear.
We don't talk --because the statute of limitations means there will never be any justice.
We don't talk --because our beloved child is a product of rape.
We don't talk --because we fear retribution from the perpetrator or his family.
We don't talk --because everything we've ever said or done or worn will be picked apart.
We don't talk --because in spite of it all, no matter what the circumstances were, no matter how many years of therapy we go through, no matter what we know now about the healing to be found in Christ, we still believe there was something we did or didn't do that caused this to happen.
We don't talk because our voices have been stolen, taken from us by force, discarded like trash, suppressed to the point of extinction.
There are those of us who have carried this secret for so long we don't remember how to speak. Those of us who were children find we have a silent room inside us, which has never heard the sound of our own voices.
Which one of those reasons isn't good enough for you to leave us to our own timetable of speaking out?
Which one of those reasons gives you permission to think we're "exaggerating" the trauma of a pain you've never encountered?
Which one of those reasons makes you think it's ok to blame the victims for anything at all in this matter?
Maybe you should think about it this way.
Which one of those reasons would be enough to keep you silent?